Too Fast

I know this isn't true for everyone, but I swear to you that before I had kids, I existed in this strange continuum whereby time marched by at very normal, very regal pace. Like slides lined up in a slide show, Holidays clicked in and out of focus; each one coming directly after the one before it. Seasons were marked by the inventory at the local retail stores; I noticed the changes from shorts to jeans, t-shirts to sweaters, fuzzy light up Christmas Tree socks to pale pink Bunny Ear headbands..and knew a new time was upon us. Nothing was too fast, nor too slow. It was the Baby Bear of Time: everything was just right.

That was before having kids. Before.

Time has since sped up. Quite a bit. It seems I never have a moment to settle into one day, week, month, season, or year, before we're wheeling out of that one and onto the next. Everything is a constant blur.

Case in point: my girls were born, like, yesterday. Yesterday. I kid you not. I was there; I remember this very well. A mother is just not going to forget that sort of thing, you know. So will someone explain to me, being that I have these two newborns and all, how it came to be that I just bid goodnight to two very much grown up girls? They are not at all the newborns I so very clearly remember them being- well, yesterday.

How did that happen?
WHEN did it happen?
Was I looking the other way and they shot up 48 inches and grew into very grown up little people who only whine on occasion?
Was I in the bathroom? Is that what happens when you have privacy in there? It doesn't happen very often you know; there is usually an audience of 2 applauding my efforts.

How do the lyrics go? "I don't remember growing older...when did they?" That's me. Right now.

<Gulp> Is it going to keep happening? Will they be getting married tomorrow?

We're starting 2nd grade next week. They're turning 8 in a few months. They're independent. They're growing up.

This is another moment where I must say how blessed I feel that I can say I've been here for everything. I've seen it. I may not have been able to fully focus on all of it, what with the manic high speed carousel of Time ride I've been on. But I've been here. I've seen them. I'm grateful.

So now I take a deep breath; it's time to get going once again. All ready? All set? Let's go.