Letter Of Complaint (long overdue)

I feel the need to explain myself.
 It seems that many people see twins who are dressed alike and feel personally affronted and offended. They see it as their responsibility to come up to the mother in question and point out, in their expert opinion, the cosmic error of her ways. To these "Deputy Child-Psycholgists" I have but one offering: "Yes. I dress my twins alike. No, I don't feel bad about it. So there." (You can't see it, but I'm sticking my tongue out right now.)

When you find out you're having twins, two things go through your mind in quick succession: 1). Crap! How did that happen? Mixed in equal parts with 2.) giddy glee at your new found SuperPower: Egg Splitter or Egg Shooter, depending on the type of twins you're having. You spend the rest of that particular appointment swaying back and forth between complete joy and utter terror. It's not until you get home, toss out all the "What To Expect" books because it becomes quite clear THEY don't know what to expect either, and really sit down to think about this whole twin thing that you can calm down. Once that happens, then and only then can you fully appreciate the rare and wonderful opportunity you've been given to do something that apparently annoys a lot of complete strangers: dress your twins alike. Yes folks, that's right. Even before our multiples are born, we're hard at work plotting our future dressing sins. Mwah-ha-ha-ha.

The thing I never fully understand is what the problem is for other people? In response to their unsolicited advice, I always ask them if they have twins or are a twin, and let me tell you friends, at least 95% of the time,they do not and are not. So why the fuss? Look, my day is pretty hectic enough without anyone coming up to me and announcing that my girls will never develop an identity because they are always the same. One lady asked me if I knew they were individuals with different brains. Really? ARE they? How very kind of her to point that out, as I was surely in danger of having never guessed that myself. You see, dissenters, parents of multiples may be many things: we're tired, we're a bit spacey, we may be a little slurred at times (from sleep deprivation), and its entirely possible that due to the time constraint of caring for two or more human beings, we may even be dirty. However, we are not stupid. We are all quite aware that our babies are separate individuals with likes an dislikes that may be as far apart as the oceans. So please don't imply that we don't.

It never fails to amaze me how few of these rude, albeit possibly well-intentioned persons, never stop to think of the possible reasons WHY a parent of multiples may choose to dress them alike. I can't speak for the masses, but I can tell you our own reasoning. First, our twins have always preferred it. When items are bought in different colors, there will inevitably be a war, with one claiming she wants THAT shirt and the one wearing it strutting around in glory at already having it. Second, next time you take your darlings to a playground and let them disperse, think of how much easier it would be to track them if you were looking for just one outfit. Sure, I could equip my girls with a honing device that beeps whenever they come within a certain range of me, but I think my way may be a bit cheaper. Next (and perhaps my most glorious reason of all).....just because. Because I can. Because life with multiples is hard and seeing two little munchkins in matching duds just puts a smile on my face. And I'm worth it. Enough said.

The next time you are in the mall and see two nameless sweeties prancing around in matching garb...rather than choosing to attack the poor parent, try offering some words of encouragement instead. Like, "Gosh! Those your twins? Wow. You still look sane! How do you do it?" or "You look a lot more pulled together than most parents of twins. What's your secret?" or my favorite, "You are a Super-Hero", which always brings a smile to my face since I have that hidden superpower of being The Egg Splitter.